I’ll never tell
“Fuck it” – my final thought before making most decisions.
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Surviving the Supernova
A year. What a year. I have looked back several times in recent months, flabbergasted by the events I’ve been through, highs, mediums, lows. Today, closes another chapter, or at least, begins to close the door on events that were painful, traumatic and yet beautiful and somehow healing, opening my mind, my heart to new things I might otherwise have missed.
I find that happening more lately. Events are never clear-cut “good” or “bad”, but rather, an odd, oft unpredictable mixture, leaving me with a bittersweet pang. Looking back, I find myself waffling between tears and hilarity, regret and pride, wishfulness and thankfulness.
I am thankful, though, make no mistake – I’m thankful for my Master, for His immense patience with me, His great care, His ability to make me laugh when all I want to do is cry in despair, His ability to see things from a perspective I’ve either forgotten or never managed to see in the first place. I’m thankful for the time I’ve had, learning more about myself, even as I learn about and deal with issues related to my extended family. I’m thankful for the challenges, mental, physical, even emotional, that I’ve faced and overcome this last year or so. I’m stronger for it, and happier.
I’m thankful for this community… of bloggers, readers, participants – I’ve learned so much this last year from you all. I’ve actually only spent half of this year on the app folks are beginning to refer to as “the other place” or “the place that shall not be named”… the app my Master introduced me to, where I eventually met and made some amazing friends, and somehow ended up with thirteen hundred followers as of the date of the dreadful announcement… Tumblr is banning NSFW content.
That’s what I’ll miss the most, I think. Though much will remain unchanged – I will faithfully serve my Master, continue to write and post my pieces on Tumblr and elsewhere, talk with my friends as best as I’m able to keep up with them – the fact remains that the sense of community we had on Tumblr was unique, and no matter where we go and how great it is there, we will never replicate this. Can it be good? Of course! Better? Possibly… one can hope. But the same? Never.
The mix of photographic content, personal blogs, advice blogs (with the availability of both regular and anonymous asks) was unique in and of itself, but our community was so much more. We comprised people from every corner of society, from factory workers to porn workers, homemakers to sex toy makers, moms and dads to Daddy Doms and littles. People exploring kink and their sexuality to those well-seasoned and able to help answer questions. Writers, poets, dreamers, artists, atheists, Christians, employed, those looking for work. We supported each other, taking joy in one another’s successes, building each other up in harder times. We cracked jokes, needled and cajoled one another.
In short, we were a community. A community Tumblr has single-handedly, without legitimate cause, decided to destroy. And make no mistake, that is exactly what they’ve done, despite any claims to the contrary. Whilst for months, nay, maybe years, users have complained about child pornography, porn bots, neo nazis, pedophiles, etc., rather than addressing the concerns of its user base (and make no mistake, a large number of those reporting the problems, if not the majority, were from the NSFW community), Tumblr bans the entire community.
To add to the ridiculousness of Tumblr’s actions, the ban also happened to be done in such a way – using an automated flagging system – that it seemed almost as many false flags were generated as legitimate… even flagging one of Tumblr staff’s own posts as explicit. Then compound the egregiosness by changing Tumblr’s API and Application Developer the same day as the announcement, making it more difficult for people to import their blogs elsewhere. Finally, Tumblr’s own site began running poorly, indexing was suddenly broken, tags that already had been unsearchable became unusable, your posts no longer appeared on your own page… for any user, whether their content was SFW or not.
Even those who planned to stay, adapting their blogs and content to Tumblr’s new restrictions began looking for alternatives. Even those whose blogs already met those guidelines. Not only had Tumblr destroyed the community that brought many people there, it had broken its own, one remaining asset, the normally relatively user-friendly app. The app and site weren’t perfect, but at least they were workable – before.
But Tumblr’s biggest asset, the one it didn’t seem to recognize and probably still hasn’t, is the community. The community is what made Tumblr what it was. The lack of that community, the lack of diversity, of freedom of information, of freedom of speech, the hole that will be left where Tumblr one stood will be like a the blackhole left by a supernova. And make no mistake, the shockwaves of Tumblrs actions are not unlike those of a supernova, rolling throughout society at large.
But what of the displaced community? Can it not just pick up and transplant itself somewhere else? The sad truth is that the diversity that existed on Tumblr simply won’t easily port elsewhere. I’ve watched with sadness as friends, followers, bloggers, content providers examine, assess and make moves to a variety of sites as diverse as the population that comprised our community on Tumblr. What’s done is done. It’s over.
As I look back now over a year filled with everything from the raw emptiness of being ghosted to the giddiness of anticipating playtime with my Master, from the grief and trauma of losing a close family member to the safety and comfort provided by near strangers in her hometown and by the Dom who would claim and collar me as His own, from being attacked by a prowling dog to the relief and wistfulness of selling a condemned house I once called home, I am struck by something. Through it all, I’ve relied on community. Through it all, I’ve been supported by community. Through it all, I’ve survived, and I remember the faces and voices of each person, regardless from whence they came.
So now, I am making a choice. Tumblr made theirs – to thumb their noses at community. Though I will retain my blog there, keeping community with those who may wish to do so, I choose to focus on what is good, what is right, what is wonderful. About our community, about this past year, and especially, what is to come. I hope you will learn from what Tumblr did, not as a role model, but as a warning. I hope you will all work to make this community better, more cohesive,wherever you land.
Is it time yet???